Dark Sides

Oh oh oh, there's a place that I know
It's not pretty there and few have ever gone
If I show it to you now
Will it make you run away?

Or will you stay
Even if it hurts
Even if I try to push you out
Will you return?
And remind me who I really am
Please remind me who I really am

Sometimes I feel like an imposter.

I talk to people, I smile at them and I laugh at their jokes. All from behind a veil.

The “other me” whispers in my ear, not unkindly, that they don’t understand me. They think they know who I am, but in reality they are seeing the side of me that they expect to see.

For many years I have struggled with my dual personality. I joke about Geminis and our split personalities and in many respects I do have the split personality. More so than 99% of the even-tempered population out there.

But deep down, a secret I have never discussed with anybody. I know that I have another personality. A personality that is… Dark. Misunderstood. Restless. Lonely. Selfish. Driven.

Some days it threatens to consume me. I find myself with an unexplained melancholy deep in my soul. I cry for no reason. I have no inclination to make an effort to do anything.

I retreat into my own little bubble where I escape into another world by reading or watching tv.

I sit with my dearest friends and watch them talking. I am disinterested. I don’t participate in the conversations because I have nothing to say.

I am behind my veil.

This personality has become more prevalent over the past few months. I am under tremendous stress at work (I have been constantly for about 2 years) Perhaps this is my breaking point? My mind is cracking?