That means eradicating negative people, negative habits and making space for my soul to breathe.
For a while now I have had someone in my life who has been making me question the reason that they are in my life.
Do they add value to my life / Do I add value to theirs?
The answer for both questions should be a 50/50 YES. if not, the relationship needs some honest evaluation.
After the evaluation, I found that I was getting nothing from a particular relationship.
They threw me aside when something better came along.
I was not invited over, but I was always the listening ear to listen to the problems. Thy never turned up to any parties/events/coffee dates because they always had something better to do. When they did attend, they left early... every. single. time.
They thrive on attention and drama and it was a pattern we had not noticed before until we really took a step back and looked back at the history. The reason for their problems became clear when you looked at the recurring pattern.
We all stopped giving them the attention in the hopes that it would break the cycle, because to address the problem would injure their pride and give them reason to enjoy another past-time of theirs - Playing the Victim
In an attempt to reach out, we received a message of apology. Which would have been fine, had the message not then changed tones to become another Woe is Me diatribe.
I have a rule that I am never false, I never say things I do not mean. If I say you look pretty, I mean it. If I think your baby is uglier than a monkeys backside, I don't say the opposite, I smile politely and say, "sweet baby"
If I am angry with you and you ask me, I will tell you I am.
I will never post statuses on Facebook in the hopes that you will see them and know that they were aimed at you. I am not 12 years old and I wouldn't indirectly say something aimed at you when I could actually do it directly and sort it out.
I am loyal to the people in my life & will tolerate a lot and forgive them for a lot, until they:
- Betray my Trust
- Accuse me of something I did not do
Once they have done that - my reaction is quick and definite. They will no longer be a part of my life.
I will not forget. I may forgive over time, but that will never mend our relationship back to how it once was.
I do tolerate a lot, which is unlike me considering I am an impatient person. I am there to help my friends when I can, but when they constantly make immature, selfish decisions, I cannot be there to always support them. Not when I want to give them a piece of my mind but know it is useless if I do.
I cannot listen to how they are "severely" or "excrutiatingly" or 'desperately" everything. (they have a good grasp of those verbs, did they find them in the Dictionary for Drama Queens?)
I realise that this is probably not always the best way to be, but it is who I am.
I do not forgive quickly and the anger of the betrayal / accusation takes a long time to dissipate. Until that process is complete, it is best not to be in life where I might say something rash.
After making the decision to finally eliminate that person from my life, I could feel the weight lifting off my shoulders.
I wish I had done it a long time ago. But hindsight is 20/20 vision isn't it?
