Guest Book? Nope, a Name Tree!

I saw this at a wedding I was at recently and loved the idea!
Instead of the guests signing a guestbook that gets put away, the guests were invited to add their fingerprint to a canvas-mounted painted tree and we wrote our names in the fingerprints.

This will be a gorgeous addition to the couples new home and a stunning way to remember the family & friends who attended their wedding.

The table arrangements were simple, yet so elegant that it didn't need much to make it pretty

The favors were Fizzers - delicious & affordable. Very convenient that they are available in the wedding colours!

This couple proved that there is no need to spend a lot of money, yet the little touches make it as pretty as any other wedding with a huge budget.

Trying to be Better, but Failing

I am having a personal struggle with myself and have been for the past few months.
I seem to be going through a personal crisis and I am scared.
Scared because I am not sure how to get myself out of this rut.
I hate who I have become. I am miserable, negative and so unhappy I hardly recognise myself anymore.

Recently I went to a wedding with my mom and that is when it really hit home. I used to be the person who always had the pretty dress or the "Eden top" (something sparkly and pretty) My mom always says:

Posh Spice says that you should rather be over-dressed than under-dressed.

How my mom knows anything Posh says is a different matter entirely. The point is, that was always me.

This last wedding, I went in black pants and a nice-ish top - wedding attire, not at all. Looking around me at all the ladies dressed in stunning dresses and pretty shoes, I recalled the cupboard full of pretty dresses I own, something for each occasion and yet there I was in Black pants! My legs were even shaved, so I can't say that was my excuse!

I suppose if we want to psycho-analyse... I don't feel good about myself, so why draw attention to myself?

A part of the old "Princess" is still trying to break through by doing things like the laser hair removal. This is one of the best things I have ever done and the money is well, well spent. I have just had my pink streaks put back into my hair and had my hair styled again.

I just wish "Princess" would push me harder, because I am losing myself and I have no idea how to get myself back.

I don't want to be that negative person anymore, but I feel like I am too far gone to change it.

I don't sit outside in the garden with my book and watch my cats play on the lawn. I don't blog anymore. I don't do self pedicures and facials. I don't go to the movies, I don't go to the gym.

I don't laugh. I am not happy.

I want to be the person that I used to be. The person who made people smile. The person that everyone used to say:

Wow, she really is a nice person.

I want to sparkle and be bubbly again.
Instead I lie on the couch or sleep. I am putting on weight, craving junk food (and eating it)
I keep feeling that I want a brand new start at life. Something major.

I never imagined that at 32 years old I would be where I am now.

I thought I would be a happier person and making a difference to people's lives.

I don't feel that I add value to my friends' lives at all. They don't remember something that I did this past week that was really important to me.

Before I make you all burst into tears - I am going to leave you with this note of positivity:

Smile at somebody random - you never know what that smile might mean to them.