I have been waiting for my broodiness to settle in and I am surprised to discover that it hasn’t.
Growing up, society has conditioned us to believe that our purpose in life is to become successful in a chosen career and to get married and have children.
There is not much said about having a job that you love regardless of the lack of status and about getting married and having children.
My friend’s mother is constantly on at her about the 2 of us finding a husband and settling down. We tell her that we are going on holiday and her response is: “That sounds lovely, but you should be out there looking for a man”
I would love to get married to the person who I feel is right for me, I will never settle in order to avoid being a spinster.
Since my nephew was born, I have realised 2 things:
1. I don’t have to feel guilty for depriving my parents of being grandparents. They are amazing with Noah and I love watching how my mom especially has changed in her strictness between being a parent and a grandparent.
2. I have a child in my life. I enjoy being the awesome aunt who gets to blow bubbles with him and tickle him to death and kick the ball outside with him. I will always be in his life as he grows up.
I am also not totally ruling out the possibility of perhaps changing my mind about having children. I have however decided that should I want children, they must come naturally.
I have watched 1 too many times the stress that fertility treatment adds to a relationship – regardless of how strong that relationship is – and I will not subject myself to that.
IVF and AI do not deliver 100% results and the added stress is detrimental to all the treatments. I believe that everything happens for a reason and this is 1 of those situations where I believe that it will work out the way it should.
And heaven forbid I become 1 of those people who bitch and moan about being pregnant, tired and fat, but post a photo online smiling widely every second day and then after the baby is born complain that I miss my “pregnancy glow”
You have my permission to show me this blog post and then bitch slap me.
And I promise never to whip it out in your presence and breastfeed the baby. EVER.
Oh I loved your honesty in this post! More and more women are choosing to either have their children much later, or not to have them at all! I on the other hand, have been broody from a very young age. I think it's wonderful that we can all feel very differently about parenthood, and support other women in their personal choice!
ReplyDeleteThank you Gaelyn!
ReplyDeleteI do agree with everything you said, this is what makes our future so much more exciting. The unpredictability of it all, but knowing that regardless, our decisions are supported by those who love us.
Great post! I was never broody. Never, ever. (I'm still not.) I was never having children. They would just get in the way of everything I want to do. And then, well, Grace happened and my entire life was turned upside down. It hasn't been easy, Lord knows it hasn't, but despite the lack of sleep, the worry that you're not doing everything the way you should be, the guilt (oh, the guilt!) and being half scared to death when you think about all the things that could go wrong (but very, very, rarely do), Grace is simply the most amazing thing (she isn't a thing, but you know what I mean :)) that has ever happened to me. I have totally amazed myself!
ReplyDeleteThis is because you are an amazing woman Kate. But I do understand what you are saying.
DeleteAnd I will take comfort from the fact that should it ever happen to me, you will be my inspiration and proof that life is still amazing and fun, even with children. xx