Ask Jhb

I was recently on air on the radio for a feature by Guest-DJ Ian F called Ask Jhb

What a lot of fun!

As part of all my soul-searching, I decided I need to start settling down and looking for a man more my own age.

Enter AB (short for Ab Boy - 35)

I met him 6 years ago through Internet dating.
2 dates later, I thought he was too shy, quiet & decent for my liking. We ended it.
A few weeks ago I was actually thinking about him, when he contacted me on Facebook. We met for dinner, chatted about why we didn't think it would work out and I discovered that he is just shy, not actually quiet when you get to know him.

At the same time, Cutie pops up ( 23) and tells me that even though it's been a year, he has realised that he is in love with me and cannot stop thinking about me and wants to throw everything away on the off-chance that he can be with me.

Now I have a dilemma - do I try to make it work with AB or do I get together with Cutie? The hormones go mad for Cutie, AB is a more mature response - not as much chemistry, but perhaps Cutie's age makes my hormones sit up and take notice more?

So back to the radio - I am sitting there contemplating this very important decision when Ian F asks us to submit our dilemma and we then ask Jhb their opinion. Yay - I can get someone else to make my decision for me!

I go on air, present my problem and a few minutes later, Jhb has told me to go for Cutie - the younger guy.

Awesome, decision made.
Cutie and I hook up and let me tell you, he really can kiss a Habit off a nun! He makes my hormones go insane.

These young boys really shouldn't be under-estimated - they can teach us Cougars a thing or 2 about seduction!

In the meantime, AB has proven that he knows how to push the buttons that really Piss me off....
Good choice Jhb!

Harmless Flirting

Last night I had a conversation with a friend of mine about Flirting.

I am a natural flirt (hence my username) and I really don't see any harm in it if it doesn't go any further.
I can't imagine being married and not being allowed to at least flirt with a member of the opposite sex.
Look at the menu but eat at home, right?

I love having this conversation with both men and woman alike, because the opinions seem to vary greatly.

Men think there is nothing wrong with flirting, and 1 even went a far as saying that a kiss is harmless flirting... mmmh I am not sure what your girlfriend would day about that!

An ex boss of mine used to kiss other women all the time and claimed that it was harmless flirting because a: she never found about it, b: he never kissed these women in public where his wife could ever find out.

At first I was horrified, then after being in a really boring 3 year relationship, I got to thinking, perhaps kissing somebody else gives you that excitement which is lost and is just enough of the "forbidden" which keeps you from doing something worse, like sleeping with another person.

Guess it is easy to think that way when you are in a boring relationship though isn't it?

Perhaps the moral there, is make an effort to keep the relationship interesting or get out.

Woman were mostly horrified at the prospect of flirting with another man when they are in a relationship - yet I wonder how many of them flirt harmlessly without even realising they are doing it.
We women know how to flutter our eyelashes, give a beguiling smile and ta-da we get a free drink or whatever.

I like flirting. It gives me a chance to sparkle and connect with another human being. I love the delicious thrill of the clever banter and the subtle nuances that bounce back and forth.

Give it a try - Be it that hot sexy waiter, or the 80 year old man sitting next to you at the sushi counter.

Bring out your inner mischievous self - Keep it platonic and make someone feel good.

Happy Flirting!

Steamy Dreams & My Reality

Last night I had one of those Hot & Steamy dreams....

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to wake up.

We all know I am not shy about sex - I am after all a woman with the sex-crazed mind of a man - and lately with all the work stress I have not really had much opportunity. (Not as much as I would like anyway!)

21 March is a public holiday here - looks like it is a lucky day for me, I am seeing "Iron Man" again!

Woo Hoo, just what my hormones ordered!

Guest Book? Nope, a Name Tree!

I saw this at a wedding I was at recently and loved the idea!
Instead of the guests signing a guestbook that gets put away, the guests were invited to add their fingerprint to a canvas-mounted painted tree and we wrote our names in the fingerprints.

This will be a gorgeous addition to the couples new home and a stunning way to remember the family & friends who attended their wedding.

The table arrangements were simple, yet so elegant that it didn't need much to make it pretty

The favors were Fizzers - delicious & affordable. Very convenient that they are available in the wedding colours!

This couple proved that there is no need to spend a lot of money, yet the little touches make it as pretty as any other wedding with a huge budget.

Trying to be Better, but Failing

I am having a personal struggle with myself and have been for the past few months.
I seem to be going through a personal crisis and I am scared.
Scared because I am not sure how to get myself out of this rut.
I hate who I have become. I am miserable, negative and so unhappy I hardly recognise myself anymore.

Recently I went to a wedding with my mom and that is when it really hit home. I used to be the person who always had the pretty dress or the "Eden top" (something sparkly and pretty) My mom always says:

Posh Spice says that you should rather be over-dressed than under-dressed.

How my mom knows anything Posh says is a different matter entirely. The point is, that was always me.

This last wedding, I went in black pants and a nice-ish top - wedding attire, not at all. Looking around me at all the ladies dressed in stunning dresses and pretty shoes, I recalled the cupboard full of pretty dresses I own, something for each occasion and yet there I was in Black pants! My legs were even shaved, so I can't say that was my excuse!

I suppose if we want to psycho-analyse... I don't feel good about myself, so why draw attention to myself?

A part of the old "Princess" is still trying to break through by doing things like the laser hair removal. This is one of the best things I have ever done and the money is well, well spent. I have just had my pink streaks put back into my hair and had my hair styled again.

I just wish "Princess" would push me harder, because I am losing myself and I have no idea how to get myself back.

I don't want to be that negative person anymore, but I feel like I am too far gone to change it.

I don't sit outside in the garden with my book and watch my cats play on the lawn. I don't blog anymore. I don't do self pedicures and facials. I don't go to the movies, I don't go to the gym.

I don't laugh. I am not happy.

I want to be the person that I used to be. The person who made people smile. The person that everyone used to say:

Wow, she really is a nice person.

I want to sparkle and be bubbly again.
Instead I lie on the couch or sleep. I am putting on weight, craving junk food (and eating it)
I keep feeling that I want a brand new start at life. Something major.

I never imagined that at 32 years old I would be where I am now.

I thought I would be a happier person and making a difference to people's lives.

I don't feel that I add value to my friends' lives at all. They don't remember something that I did this past week that was really important to me.

Before I make you all burst into tears - I am going to leave you with this note of positivity:

Smile at somebody random - you never know what that smile might mean to them.