Bend in the wind & survive the storm

Blog everyday in May - Day 16, Thursday: Something difficult about your “lot in life” and how you’re working to overcome it

This is the challenge I have struggled the most with so far.

I can imagine that people out there have got some legitimate reasons to be extremely unhappy. (failing health, no job, going through a divorce, etc)

I am lucky my unhappiest "lot" is my job.

Working for a man you both respect and dislike at times causes huge emotional strain. Taking on too much is draining me and forcing me to abandon my social life in order to complete the work, thereby creating the expectation that more will get done.

With the economy being the way it is at present, I am not willing to work at a new company only to be let go a few months later (it's happened to people I know and I cannot take that risk)

I have job security. I know that my position is very secure. 

So for now, if I am not going to look for another job, how am I overcoming this unhappiness:

I am trying not to let his negativity affect me. I am limiting my overtime hours and making myself leave at a respectable hour. If the work is not done and I have tried my best, then there is clearly too much for me and it is time I put my foot down and not budge.

Challenges Remaining:

Day 17, Friday: A favorite photo of yourself and why
Day 18, Saturday: Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.
Day 19, Sunday: Five of your favorite blogs and what you love about them
Day 20, Monday: Get real. Share something you’re struggling with right now.
Day 21, Tuesday: A list of links to your favorite posts in your archives
Day 22, Wednesday: Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel. (a pet peeve, a current event, a controversial topic, something your husband or roommate or neighbor or boss does that really ticks you off)
Day 23, Thursday: Things you’ve learned that school won’t teach you
Day 24, Friday: Your top 3 worst traits
Day 25, Saturday: Something someone told you about yourself that you’ll never forget (good or bad)
Day 26, Sunday: Something you read online. Leave a link and discuss, if you’d like.
Day 27, Monday: A letter to your readers
Day 28, Tuesday: Only pictures
Day 29, Wednesday: Five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories. UseGrooveshark or YouTube to include them in the post
Day 30, Thursday: React to this term: Letting Go
Day 31, Friday: A vivid memory

An Update...

It's been a month since QT and I split up. Some days are really hard in that I miss him.
I was going through my FB messages to clear my inbox out and I found our messages where we first started our flirtation. 11 Dec is a year ago.
I also funnily enough found a message where I told him that I have only 1 New Years resolution - to find a decent boyfriend with the following qualities:

Wicked sense of humour like me, not childish
Intelligent
Loves animals
Willing to watch the occassional girly movie with me. 
Someone who is affectionate with me and understands my quirkiness.

Scary how I pretty much described QT to a tee. Makes me sad when I read our old messages. Sad that good things end.
I know it was the right thing to do and in the end we never did want the same things, which we both knew.

I have been keeping busy: M - he and I dated for a few months in highchool and remained friends. I have pretty much avoided his calls these last few years because I did not want him to see how much weight I have put on since then.
I saw him again a few weeks ago. I remembered why we got along so well. He is fun and easy to talk to and he reminded me of who I was in highschool. Carefree and fun to be with because I didn't have responsibilities hanging over my head.
I am seeing him again for a movie, he makes me smile and that is always a good thing ;-)

Clint is another blast from my past. I dated him for a few months after meeting him on an internet dating site. He fell in love with me and I didn't feel the same way. I loved being with him though, he is a copy writer in advertising and has a few awards under his belt (including a Loerie)
He is super intelligent and sensitive and a great story teller. When he got too intense, I had to end it.

A year later we got in touch again and I saw him for dinner. Again, I had fun catching up and having some interesting dinner conversation.

If you haven't noticed this about me, I thrive on GREAT conversation. I love getting to know a person and listening to their views on life.
Nothing like intelligence and wit to have my rapt attention for hours.

My friend Shez is arriving from Australia on 22 December. I met her on Contiki in 2005 and she is finally coming to SA for a visit.

I am really excited to show her parts of SA, I really wish we had more time (and an unlimited credit card)
I am planning to take her to the Monte Casino Bird Gardens and perhaps catch the latest Pantomime at the Jhb Civic Theatre.
I have booked ourself a Canopy Tour in the Magaliesberg. I have always wanted to do this and Tee will be joining us. You sail on safety lines over the trees and rocks from 1 platform to another. I cannot wait!
We will go to my parents for Christmas and then travel to Parys to have lunch in Rubys - the little restaurant I have spoken of before where the decor is a decadent mix of Marilyn Monroe, Venetian masks and feather boas etc.
Gold Reef City is a theme park based on the mining industry that was so big in Jhb in years gone by, with fun rides such as Miner's Revenge, Tower of Terrot, The Jozi Express and the Anaconda.
We will also probably visit the Apartheid Museum which I believe is very interesting.

We have a busy schedule ahead and I am looking forward to it.

Boomie is still gone :-( My heart breaks for him. He was my big baby boy and I have so many happy memories with him. My whole morning routine is different without him and Squeaky's whole life is different too. I just can't imagine where he is and I really hope he is with a family who love him - the alternatives are too scary to contemplate.

Christmas shopping is on my to do list, I adore being able to spoil the ones I love and even though I am keeping it very small this year, I still cant wait to buy something for my mom and Dad, brother and close friends.

Career life has been busy.
We recently had our year end function - A Night at the Oscars and it was an absolute hit with the staff. I received lots of compliments. We handed out little gold Oscars to the winners who were anonymously voted for by their peers and I even put together a little music video complete with songs for each nominee.
We had a lovely venue in Morningside on a deck in the open. Our live band were illuminated by the moon behind them and it was such a stunning setting to eat and dance under the moonlight (thanks to the perfect Jhb weather that night)

Miss J is our new PA and even though she only started on 1 December, I just know she is going to crack it. She fits in really well with the ladies in the office and she has what it takes to deal with my boss.
I am finally able to concentrate on the million tasks that I have been given, but done nothing about. What I love about marketing is that it is more a creative job, not totally admin orientated and this is what I do best - creativity.

I go on leave in 1 week, and I am super excited. I need time to find myself. I need time to relax and stop stressing, as this stress is going to kill me (as I suspect it might have killed my mind already)

I hope in the new year that my salary will be looked at and my increase will be effected. I am still in the dark as to how much increase I will get.
Seeing as I will be homeless at the end of Feb, I also need to start looking for a new place to stay.

My Blog is 1!!

Today - 1 year ago I ventured out into the big bad world of anonymous blogging!

I love that I can speak my mind without having people I know misinterpreting what I have said.

I love that I can fully admit to being a raging nymphomaniac and not having people judge me.

I never imagined that I would meet such unbelievable people out there. I never imagined that I would end up speaking about my life in general - this was supposed to be an outlet for my fantasies and forbidden thoughts - in the end it has turned out to be a bit of both.

This year has seen me through a relationship with QT and a sexy flirtation with MC and a little affair with MBA.

I hope the next year brings me:

Lots of action  - I am feeling the strain of not getting any for a few weeks now and I am ready to burst. For me, sex really is an addiction. I crave that physical chemistry that only a fellow human can share with you - a vibrator - no matter how pretty pink and sparkly it is - can only do so much - which is just not enough!
There is definitely something special about sex with a person you love - the bond is so special and really strong. But every now and then some Hot, Nasty, Animal Sex is all I need!

Career settlement - After this crazy year or hanging in there and fighting for what I want, I hope that next year I can reap the benefits. I don't want to lose a relationship over my career again. I want to be happy and settled and doing what I truly have a passion for, and something I am good at.

Financial stability - this is a worry of mine for a while now, and I am hoping that if all continues as well as it has, that I will reach my goal.

A stunning overseas holiday - it has been a few years since I went overseas and I am dreaming of white sand, crystal clear seas and some beautiful architecture thrown in. So perhaps Thailand and somewhere else  -another visit to Italy?

Meeting my soulmate - I am 31. I need to start settling down sometime. Meeting my soulmate and experiencing the newness of a relationship that has a future is something I look forward to. Marriage in the future and then maybe children sometime further into the future. (but not before some exciting action!)

And I never want to repeat another year like this ever again!

So cheers to all of you that have visited, commented and stayed. 


Thank you for the thoughts and comments and love and support - I look forward to another fun year of blogging.