Feeling good about myself

I have been feeling a bit low up until recently and the turn of events with MBA and MC have really improved my mood.

As I have learnt from previous experience though -  person can not make you happy, you have to be happy within yourself to be happy.

However having said that - these are a few things that have happened recently to make me happy to hopefully help me reaffirm that my life does not suck as much as I sometimes make it out in my head - this isnt a list to say that I love myself, it is merely a nice reminder....

• 
  
  I have someone who is hopelessly in love with me and would do anything for me. I don't feel the same but it is nice to know that I can make someone weak at the knees
  
  
  
• 
  
  The make up artist told me I have beautiful features
  
  
  
• 
  
  I was asked for my ID at a club - they would believe I was over 25!
  
  
  
• 
  
  People gasped when I told them I was 30, they never imagined over 27
  
  
  
• 
  
  MC thinks I am Superhot
  
  
  
• 
  
  AC thinks I always have the answer to everything and I am the best thing that ever happened to her
  
  
  
• 
  
  Race car thinks I am one of the nicest people he knows
  
  
  
• 
  
  Today Racecar said i am "the perfect girl" because I like action movies and love sex and think like a man
  
  
  
• 
  
  My Housemate thinks I am always so well put together and on top of my life (which I know is not always the case - I fake it well!)
  
  
  
• 
  
  My friends phone me for advice
  
  
  
• 
  
  A top photographer once told me I had a good eye for photography
  
  
  
• 
  
  A wildlife specialist told me I had eyes like a leopard (I love Leopards so that was a great compliment)
  
  
  
• 
  
  The dress maker said i have a very nice hourglass figure (when is Marilyn Monroe shape going to come back into fashion again?) 
  
• I got to wear a stunning dress for the wedding
  
• I wore slip slops most of the evening snd no one noticed
  
• I finally bought my Guess Purse and I love it!
  
• I am going on holiday tomorrow
  
• I got a bonus
  
• I have Christmas Presents under my tree
  
• Someone said I remind them of Sandra Bullock
  
• My family love me no matter what
  
• I have more than 1 best friend
  
• I am a truly lucky girl
  
• I am blessed with a great cleavage
  
• I have naturally long eyelashes
  
• My eye colour varies with my mood
  
• with some help from gel overlays my nails grow nicely and look pretty
  
• I love my Sparkly dresses
  

Just haven't met you yet

I will be going away for a couple of days and might not have a chance to update - I guess I am feeling the need to talk about a whole bunch of stuff because blogging is another form of therapy for me (next to gardening)
In actual fact I have so many random things going through my head at the momet, I will probably end up blogging about them later as well!

Until then... this is a song that I absolutely love - it has been played on the radio quite often lately and so aptly describes my life and where I am now - and it gives you some hope that there is somone out there for all of us and we need to anticipate meeting that person with all the excitement that the kiddies are surely feeling now for the arrival of Father Christmas and his presents for all the good ones!

I am hoping my wait is over... but time will tell...

Michael Buble - Haven't met you yet.






I'm Not Surprised

Not Everything Lasts

I've Broken My Heart So Many Times,

I Stop Keeping Track.

Talk Myself In

I Talk Myself Out

I Get All Worked Up

And Then I Let Myself Down.



I Tried So Very Hard Not To Loose It

I Came Up With A Million Excuses

I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility



And I Know Someday That It'll All Turn Out

You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out

And I Promise You Kid That I'll Give So Much More Than I Get

I Just Haven't Met You Yet



Mmmmm ....



I Might Have To Wait

I'll Never Give Up

I Guess It's Half Timing

And The Other Half's Luck

Wherever You Are

Whenever It's Right

You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life



And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing

And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me

And Now I Can See Every Possibility



Mmmmm ......



And Somehow I Know That It Will All Turn Out

And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out

And I Promise You Kid I'll Give So Much More Than I Get

I Just Haven't Met You Yet



They Say All's Fair

And In Love And War

But I Won't Need To Fight It

We'll Get It Right

And We'll Be United



And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing

And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me

And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility



Mmmm .....



And Someday I Know It'll All Turn Out

And I'll Work To Work It Out

Promise You Kid I'll Give More Than I Get

Than I Get Than I Get Than I Get



Oh You Know It'll All Turn Out

And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out

And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get

Yeah I Just Haven't Met You Yet



I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Oh Promise You Kid

To Give So Much More Than I Get



I Said Love Love Love Love Love Love Love .....

I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Love Love Love .....

I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Wedding Bells & Kisses

I have always loved Gazebos. Have always wanted to get married under 1.

Quite fitting then that I should meet MC at the wedding and sit with him under the gazebo by moonlight. All very romantic I must say.

I think that was the moment I decided that I am crazy about him - after an hour - I know it seems silly, but something just clicked.

MC is a friend of RaceCar's who flew up from Durban for the wedding. His nickname is Gorgeous & he really does live up to the name!
But no only is he Gorgeous, but he is also such a decent, intelligent guy.

He is blonde, with pale green eyes & a fellow gemini.
At 31 he is also 1 of the top Architects in SA.

He told Racecar that he thought I was, and I quote:

Superhot

I was quite chuffed and really excited to chat to him more exclusively.

We flirted at the bar a bit, drank 1, 2, maybe 3 Tequilas and then went for a walk and ended up at the gazebo and sat under it and chatted for over an hour.
He thinks the same way I do and I understand exactly what he is saying when he talks about something.
At 1 stage he leaned over and gave me a kiss on my temple - I didn't think that could ever be sensual but - it was!

The wedding ended too soon for my liking and he had to get a lift with someone. He walked me to my car and hugged me and kissed me in my neck (Spot #2) and on my cheek and forehead.

He only came for the wedding and flew back today. I was very disappointed that I wouldn't get to see him again but he made me a R100 bet that I would see him before 16 January (1 month)
I hope I lose this bet!

I told him in case I don't see him within the month I need a proper kiss to tide me over. He promptly gave me a very decent kiss that stirred the loins!

As I drove out he smsed me to tell me a month is too long to wait, he will be back sooner.

RaceCar said something really sweet - MC & I were standing and talking and RaceCar walks up to us and tells me that I am 1 of the nicest people he knows and MC is also one of the nicest people he knows and that is why he thinks we are good together.

It all just seems so.... Fated? Am I reading too much into this? Why does it feel so right?


My best friend gets married and I meet a guy that actually seems to be the type I am looking so hard for. A sign from the Gods?

I am a very passionate person, and I tend to get really excited about a person I really like. I am really super-excited about MC. And it is not only hormones, it is something deeper.
We were able to connect on an intellectual level, and he makes me laugh. he isn't too outspoken, is a gentleman and very well mannered, even when he has had a few too much to drink (I can vouch for that because I was in the same boat)



I don't fall often, but when I do, I fall hard.


MC has made quite an impression on me.

Is he The One?

Perhaps I am being presumptuous and jumping the gun, I have after all only known him for a few hours, but I really hope that it turns into something more.

Meanwhile, the wedding was absolutely stunning. I was the Maid of Honour and my friend looked absolutely amazing.
I am so happy for them, they are so deserving of each other and everlasting love and happiness.

RaceCar has recently gone into kidney failure and has a 4 year wait on the organ donor program. Turns out his new wife is a perfect match for him and will be donating him a kidney after they are able to have a child.

This is 1 marriage in particular I know will stand the test of time.

This is the type of relationship I am holding out for. I know it exists.

True love. Total compatibility. Best friends. Lovers. Understanding & Patience. (all in no particular order)

Sometimes things just happen

I have been feeling a bit despondant about my love life of late.



I am 30 years old and as much as I love the freedom of being single and able to kiss or date from a variety of men – it isn’t always fun and games.


Good decent men are hard to meet.


They are either all dating a woman from hell or are gay.


There are lots of guys out there with issues – believe me.


I have had my share of married men wanting to marry me and if I agree they will leave their wife. Sure thing! (NOT)


Another one wanting me as his piece on the side, even while I am happily dating. (Never mind the fact that 1 of my friends is his wife!!)


So anyway – MBA and I had dinner at his place on Monday night – I often go over to him and we have dinner, watch a dvd and chat about the state of our lives.


He, like me is still single at 30 and even more difficult than I am!


I find that he keeps too much of a tight rein – too much self control.

Monday night started much the same.


We ate and watched a bit of TV and he started tickling me – people love tickling me because I am so ticklish.


The problem with MBA being my friend – he knows all my most sensitive spots – I have shared this with him over the years.


My hip bone and neck are my favourite places to be kissed!


Would stand to reason that my hip is also very ticklish - he was tickling me until I was gasping for breathe when suddenly he leans down and kisses my hip.

That is my ON button – and with the current state of my hormones I had to grind my teeth together to stop from grabbing his head and begging him to carry on.


He stopped and looked at me and I think he saw the naked desire etched onto my features because he dipped in gain and proceeded to kiss both hips and my entire stomach.


That cracked the last vestige of self-control I had left – I grabbed him and kissed him.

We have been friends for 16 year and most of those years he has had a huge crush on me.


This complicates things.

It didn’t stop at a kiss. I managed to peel his shirt off and was finally able to run my hands over those firm muscles sculpting his chest, arms and stomach that I have secretly perved over for the past few years.


A couple of hours later – we were both naked. Yep, that’s right.


I didn’t do the deed if you are wondering.


I stayed the night and went home the next morning.

What surprised me is that it wasn’t uncomfortable – as I had always thought it would be.


He is a really good kisser!

Where does this leave us?

Friends with Benefits?
Act as if nothing happened?
I don’t know.


He is not my Mr Right – but I seriously enjoyed the physical closeness – it helps that we have known each other for so long.

But wait the Plot thickens… see upcoming Blog entry….