Feelings

I had a bit of a scary revelation this weekend.

I think My feelings for QT are becoming more serious.

This is a scary thing!

QT is everything I want in a man - he talks about his feelings and calls me out when I refuse to talk about mine. He listens to my concerns and does anything in his power to help make me feel better when I am sad/sick/both.

He has the best intentions and besides the issue I have with him being a bit too available to his sisters' demands - he is an amazing boyfriend.

He goes shopping with me and tells me how gorgeous I am - every day - I LOVE IT

When I am not with him, I want to be with him. When I am with him, I want to jump his bones hug and kiss him.

The sex is mindblowingly out of this world.

I have always been very self concious and yet he has managed to break alot of the reservations I had.
With QT - I am more daring, I experiment more and I have had my 1st, most incredibly intense, multiple orgasm with him.
He makes me feel attractive even though I am going through my fat unattractive blob not-the-prettiest phase (not sure how long this will last)
He makes me happy and when I am walking somewhere holding his hand or cuddling watching a movie - I think about nothing else except jumping his bones how happy I am!
(Ironically as I write this - "Think I'm falling for you" is playing on the radio)

So why is this a scary thing?

I am 9 years (10 in 12 days time) older than him. I am ready to settle down and marry. QT is not.

At 21 he has his whole life ahead of him.

Which means I am wasting my time with him, arent I?

I just never thought we would develop into something more than a few kisses and instead have been most pleasantly surprised at the outcome.

What about MC you may ask?

I have closed myself off to considering anything with MC until the time is right.

Since asking me to visit him, he has been very scarce. This might be the right approach to "us"

I dont have anything but friendship to offer MC at this stage. QT has made me realise that I want a man who wants me 100% - all the time. MC is not ready for that - I always knew it.

He and I will give it a try if the opportunity is ever appropriate.

I miss talking to him. I miss his take on things - MC has a great way of putting things into perspective for me.

Only time will tell what who the future holds.