Guest Book? Nope, a Name Tree!

I saw this at a wedding I was at recently and loved the idea!
Instead of the guests signing a guestbook that gets put away, the guests were invited to add their fingerprint to a canvas-mounted painted tree and we wrote our names in the fingerprints.

This will be a gorgeous addition to the couples new home and a stunning way to remember the family & friends who attended their wedding.

The table arrangements were simple, yet so elegant that it didn't need much to make it pretty

The favors were Fizzers - delicious & affordable. Very convenient that they are available in the wedding colours!

This couple proved that there is no need to spend a lot of money, yet the little touches make it as pretty as any other wedding with a huge budget.

Trying to be Better, but Failing

I am having a personal struggle with myself and have been for the past few months.
I seem to be going through a personal crisis and I am scared.
Scared because I am not sure how to get myself out of this rut.
I hate who I have become. I am miserable, negative and so unhappy I hardly recognise myself anymore.

Recently I went to a wedding with my mom and that is when it really hit home. I used to be the person who always had the pretty dress or the "Eden top" (something sparkly and pretty) My mom always says:

Posh Spice says that you should rather be over-dressed than under-dressed.

How my mom knows anything Posh says is a different matter entirely. The point is, that was always me.

This last wedding, I went in black pants and a nice-ish top - wedding attire, not at all. Looking around me at all the ladies dressed in stunning dresses and pretty shoes, I recalled the cupboard full of pretty dresses I own, something for each occasion and yet there I was in Black pants! My legs were even shaved, so I can't say that was my excuse!

I suppose if we want to psycho-analyse... I don't feel good about myself, so why draw attention to myself?

A part of the old "Princess" is still trying to break through by doing things like the laser hair removal. This is one of the best things I have ever done and the money is well, well spent. I have just had my pink streaks put back into my hair and had my hair styled again.

I just wish "Princess" would push me harder, because I am losing myself and I have no idea how to get myself back.

I don't want to be that negative person anymore, but I feel like I am too far gone to change it.

I don't sit outside in the garden with my book and watch my cats play on the lawn. I don't blog anymore. I don't do self pedicures and facials. I don't go to the movies, I don't go to the gym.

I don't laugh. I am not happy.

I want to be the person that I used to be. The person who made people smile. The person that everyone used to say:

Wow, she really is a nice person.

I want to sparkle and be bubbly again.
Instead I lie on the couch or sleep. I am putting on weight, craving junk food (and eating it)
I keep feeling that I want a brand new start at life. Something major.

I never imagined that at 32 years old I would be where I am now.

I thought I would be a happier person and making a difference to people's lives.

I don't feel that I add value to my friends' lives at all. They don't remember something that I did this past week that was really important to me.

Before I make you all burst into tears - I am going to leave you with this note of positivity:

Smile at somebody random - you never know what that smile might mean to them.

The Universe Speaks

Work has been a nightmare - and that is putting it mildly.

It is partly the reason I have not blogged for such a  long time.
It is sucking me dry emotionally & I have hardly had a chance to think about anything besides how unhappy I am and how desperately I need to find a new job.
I am the only person in the marketing department for a company with a sales force of 30 people. Marketing is supposed to be the foundation of sales, right now, I am just the crap under their feet.

There is only so much work I can do and the more I sit and talk to the bosses about how I am just too over-loaded, the more they say they understand. In the next breathe I get shouted at because my work is not all up to date - WTF?

Anyway - I am digressing.

I think the universe has been trying to tell me something lately.

2 weeks ago I got dressed to go to gym (a place that I vaguely remember since its been so long since I last exercised) and as I opened the door, the heavens opened up and a downpour ensued.
I looked up at the sky, said to God: "Ok, God, I will stay at home because it is safer"

The exact same thing happened this past weekend - so I reckon God likes me chubby or I might die of a heart attack due to all the stress I have been under.

The past 2 days my cats have been following me like a shadow. They literally walk right next to me every step of the way, and if I stop for a second, they are twirling themselves around my legs and meouwing at me. And they don't like each other, so this is a huge thing for them!

Maybe they know something. I reckon I might be dying. If I do drop dead at work, I hope somebody drags my body out the building and say I died under a tree, this hell-hole will NOT be my deathbed!

Claireabella Originals

Since seeing these amazing handbags, they have occupied my thoughts & I can hear them calling to me... all the way from the UK!

What makes them so special? They are designed especially for you! You tell them your hair, eye colour as well as your type of dress & an extra something - like pink hearts or a champagne glass - and they personalise a bag with your name.

I want one so so SO badly desperately!

The Claireabella Original is hand-painted by the designer herself & personalised with a special something. It is then given a number, so it is truly an original.

Here is my dream bag:

Type: Glitz 

Green eyes:

Brown hair:

Here are a few examples - tell me these are not the cutest!!

Canvas example:

Visit their website here - and if you buy one, I expect a bag as a thank you for the fantastic idea!

Zac Efron is a Hottie!

You all know that I like my men young.
Watch this video where he sings to Ellen with Taylor Swift - what I would not do to have that man in my bed....